xue

Mindless

2007-05-09T01:55:00.000+08:00

My hair is ugly. And it only looks okay when i pin it up. But it'll be so messy! Mao.

I bought too many books recently! Quite angry with myself! Hahaha okay i lied. I'm actually beaming. Me a bookworm. K lied again.

I'm really sucha implusive shopper. It's no wonder my bank accounts for a deficit. Boo. I need to do shopping rarrr. It's like some sort of addiction. So obsessed, i take great delight in carrying shopping bags.

Skipped a few lessons. Die la. Not funny alr can.

On Mon, i swam with fave neighbour at Jalan Besar. And i've been up to my neck giving tuition to my p4 kid the past nights too. Tmw yet another day and i'l miss cg :/

Last week queued 3hrs for Doughnuts with Kar and Zhige. Today, ate Popeyes (yummy!) with Fel and did some catching up too (: Cravings 2/3 satisfied.

And Shu, you owe me Tamp Ikea trip okay.

Courage

2007-05-07T01:39:00.000+08:00

---

Challenges? Courage?!

Independent, Interdependent, Dependent

2007-05-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

If you know me (long), you prolly know me in a very superficial way. I don really share much of my thoughts and inner feelings to anyone. Even my churchies, i'd have to think twice before letting off my guard and just share openly. So much so that sometimes, i think i do the same to God.

I picture this.
A close and much trusted friend came knocking at my door only to be led to my living room. I wanted him to view my achievements displayed, i wanted him to be proud of me. My exterior must be good enough, and it had to be as perfect as i want him to see me as.

Then, i rushed to my room to clear up the mess and the unsightfuls, and quickly hide those secrets i'd never want him to know. Er okay, until and unless i clear them all do i let him in my room i tell myself.

He has never seen my room. All he saw was my lovely living room.

Okay wahlau quite lousy analogy. I don think you understand this entirely. But nvm. I understand, God understands can already.
Maybe i forgot He (God) is God already. Maybe i forgot His character traits too.

Lord, please don't pass me by. Please don't give up on me.

A lack of pictures

2007-05-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

I caught Mona Lisa Smile earlier this week and i thought it was awesome.

--

While churchies were enjoying Spiderman3, i was struggling to complete my WISP assignment due tomorrow. I'm 1/3 done only.
I was so distracted, most of the time, by my cravings for 6 doughnuts from The Doughnut Factory, some mean chicks from Popeyes and Subway's sandwiches with honey mustard sauce.
I wanted to catch ANTM cycle 8 too but instead, i had to watch a video documentary on discrimination.
And how nice, Online Comm tutor secretly marked me absent last week. He wouldn't give me 20mins' grace, hello at least i bother to go for class. It was raining like mad cats and Campus Deli had long queue that day alright! No clean record when i made an effort. Boo.
K rant and that aside. I swam just. In the night! Omg real fun!

Now. Thursday's gonna be wow!! :D

mo(u)rning

2007-05-02T06:26:00.000+08:00

Like a plague.
I'm over with it. :D

Believe

2007-04-23T02:58:00.000+08:00

CTR was rather interesting. Zhige and i were amused. Sitting through what seemed like a parliament/stockholders' meeting as the observers. I felt privileged eh. To be part of this church movement and i felt extremely important ahha. Mm. Went home early with Zhige and in the bus we laughed at how we counter attack every seemingly bad situation with 'God's plan la God's plan'.

Past two days were a WHY WHY WHY period for me. Didnt really understand WHY WHY WHY. K doubting not a sin, unbelief is. So i held on. Now i think i caught a glimpse of light, i see it as 'me and my WHYs' inside and sheltered under God's plan. It's really amazing how God affirm and speak to me like that.

I'm seeing something great to come! I believe it mann!!! Past experiences shall not put me down.
Believe and Trust two different things okay.
And if i may add, I Really believe in Believing in People.

This week. Omg. Every morning is plain torturous. I work better in the night. How to love school, dread so much! :(
I give myself to you la.

All's well

2007-04-22T02:17:00.000+08:00

I sat and read at Borders and ate at Orange Julius all alone (while waiting for kar the lousy friend). I earned bird shit too. I lost my nose stud last week and i haven been wearing it since. Now, temporary, i've to resort to wearing safety pin on my nose. I hope it don close too soon.

I realise almost all the girls in my group knows how to play either cs or dota. Everyone's turning to be gamers which is seriously scaring me off. Had Mango sago dessert at bugis. I think it tastes really good! I am going there again.

I'm gonna tuition a P4 kid this wed! This's exciting!

---

I'm thinking about:
Believing (in people). and Jonah? Mmm.
Consequences and Opportunities. HRMMM. OKAYYY GOOD NIGHT! MANY LOVES TO ALL YEAY <33

SPIRITUAL GIANTS YAA?

2007-04-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

The wrong words said at the wrong time discourage me
The wrong words said at the right time frustrate me
The right words said at the wrong time confuse me
The right words said at the right time encourage me.

-John C Maxwell.

Today, Vincent showed me how positive and lasting the impact really is/will be to actually say the right words at the right time.

---

Wahlau. Went all the way to Raffles City to queue for Donuts at Donut Factory and its sold out. :(

step out

2007-04-18T10:20:00.000+08:00

Lecture ytd was :/ Thank God for Vincent who accompanied me ayyy super appreciated okay. Met Gary and toured around atrium peering through cca booths. Omg, he really signed up to be a life guard. Die i lost the bet. Rested in library while waiting for Zijie to head town for B&J free cone day! Chunky Monkey! Yummy! Saw Zejun and Jolene at Raffles City and Zejun's so hardcore k. 4 icecream cones, haha. Oh we caught The Reaping tog too which i find it disturbing, in a sense.

Just watched the video clips of our church planters in Lima, Peru. One life to live only!

Everything else shifts to the background. My concerns, worries and problems aren't that significant anymore.

K 4PM later. You lead me okay?

All or Nothing

2007-04-17T02:16:00.000+08:00

I had fever the whole of last night till just.

Was browsing through Newsweek on religious issues and came across this physicist and mathematician named Blaise Pascal. Know? Or perhaps this will ring a bell. He's the one who developed the Probability theory and Pascal's law, rem!? Pascal's also a religious french philosopher. Wow i never knew. I think he's pretty interesting and his philosophies/conversion's amazing! Go wiki him.

He came out with this Pascal's Wager.
It is smarter to bet that God exists, and to believe in him, because if it turns out that he is real, you win everything; if he is not, you lose nothing. So why not take the leap of faith?

And, another great thinker C.S Lewis (The one who wrote Narnia& The Screwtape Letters).
Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, is of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

Wow. Great people of the century eh.

--

I feel really amazed at how He puts words into my heart so personal, and so timely. I'l share next time.
Ok. I must go school tmrw!

MAOMI WO AI NI

2007-04-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

White Kitty. (Took from Jean's)
Aww. How not to love?

The real test!

2007-04-15T20:12:00.000+08:00

Today's my last day of work at Kids21 Forum Galleria.
And School starts tmrw! I haven print/read through lecture notes! I haven plan my week! I haven read my book! I'm online. And i need to take power nap!

Somebody please challenge (or pay) me not to take cab, not to skip any lectures and tutorials this semester. I'm so not a morning person.

---

I hardly blog nowadays and it may be a good thing because i share more.
K this is gonna be random and incoherent. Accumulated random thoughts see.

I rem telling Meihwa the day before Binary Fission that one of my objectives is to be prophesied on. She said some things to me which i'd never heard before which is like omg wow. I will never forget those words. So she kinda challenged me to prophesy for myself cause it's better to hear from God directly than to hear from God through others. And i really did so omg can (:

I'm really happy to live everyday in an attempt to walk right with God. When i'm busy busy or busy doing nothing, Jesus fills up my heart, mind and soul. I really know that noone else can satisfy me in this way.

I long for more of his presence in my life. I want God to be so personal to me that i can hear even his faintest whisper. Please come make my heart your home okay?

No one shall determine my value. Cause i was bought at a damn high price. He thinks the world of me! Yey.

Character far outweighs Appearance. I want to be more like Jesus please. Spiritual Giant! ME I WANT TO BE!

A rough gauge i use, haha. Have i grown from the time Jean left for China.

I think the question for the week is. What's stopping me from doing much more.

The Spirit convicts me from within.

Now. Outreach/SOW/FU/Shepherding! HS lead me please.

K i know every paragraph don link.

B&J

2007-04-12T01:28:00.000+08:00

Tasting the goodness of subway

2007-04-06T04:38:00.000+08:00

I think you have not known me until you know how much i love Subway. Haha!

Since i've become Subway's self acclaimed ambassador, i like to think that it's very much like being Christ's ambassador.

Sow. Convert. Follow up.

And, it isn't a chore to share. It just comes so naturally.

X()

2007-03-24T00:52:00.000+08:00

My granny thinks i'm damn vulgar. Just because i used wahlau and nehneh. Okayeee.

My left cheek grew a mole, 5 cm away from my chickenpok scar. sexy mole k.

Britney. why you so hot.

I clicked on paint in accessories. And tadaa. Guess who?
Who lives in the pineapple under the sea?! Spastic retarded Bob.

With Pat now. They look jolly happy together.
My all time faveee. Julius from Paul Frank! Boohoo. I'm struggling with temptations that's pretty harmless act. But sorry no time to entertain yall. Ahahaha. Ok i shall flee from such thoughts before they catch me up. Focus on Oneee.

And ya. Caught Alberix Niigata (sp?) FC vs Sengkang Punggol FC match at Jalan Besar Stadium.
One of the rare nights Gonggong's vision's good and clear. AH hug you! Mommy thinks Amos the goalkeeper from SPFC's hot with cute dimples. Mommy also says she likes me better when i smile alot. =)

I'm thinking: Courage, Faith. Prophesy. Mm.

:D

2007-03-23T01:10:00.000+08:00

Hopes are never foolish. Prayers never wasted.

Expecting

2007-03-22T02:28:00.000+08:00

This morning was a blur. Cut that.

I went down Jurong afterwhich. Practised a few pieces of easy piano repertoire. K, skills rusty. I'm thinking of shifting my piano back Lavender. Oh and i koped some readers' digest home as well. Aunt Edith was baking cake i wanted to learn so badly but i didn't want to stay till evening.. It'll be awkward. Is it pride or me being stubborn?
I thought i was good in relating with people. But i really don know how to react sometimes i think i have zero EQ. Like, i don know what facial expression to give and often than not, i give a wrong and misleading one. They say just be damn friendly, sweet and cheery, you'll never go wrong. Still uhm. I'd better go get one EQ book.

K i digressed a bit. Anw, today, i'm still trusting God. (:

It's a Wednesday. Skipped Zouk. I'm playing Love in the first degree mambo my way here.

Walking in the light of the Lord

2007-03-21T03:11:00.000+08:00

No tangible speedy results yet. But i am so sure God is working somewhere, somehow, somewhat. Or at least, He's working inside me. I just got to be patient. Very patient.

Past nights, i've been making conscientious effort to read and meditate on His word (If not, ODB or a few lines of John C. Maxwell). I'm tired of letting my carnal mind grip the better of me. Being caught offguard and having the Devil slowly and unconsciously (in a way) devouring my mind and soul. I am very forgetful, so Lord do remind me everywhile of the past (bad) experiences i've had (enough of). So terrifying i rly don wanna oscillate between the old ways and in your light.

Build my character strong.

the center of my focus

2007-03-20T01:59:00.000+08:00

Ytd. Rushed over to YWCA with Zhige for membership class's buffet. Ahaha! Cheap thrill yo. Caught up with Deborah too. Shopped around ps and bv, and ate tauhuey.

-

I enjoyed Mcg at Ecp today!
Pitching 4-persons tent was no easy feat.
Cycling to Bedok Jetty! And back.
Uno game in the tent.
Picnic delicacies- Tomatoes in sandwiches yummy!
I relented to bowling with Kar and Zhige too. And i got my first strike!

With Humility,

2007-03-18T02:16:00.000+08:00

Help me Lord, cause i don understand your ways.

I tried to put on a smile, get busy with meetups and outings just to throw this unerasable truth at the back of my mind. To no avail. In this quiet night, it creeps from behind, overwhelms my entire mind and haunts me all over again. I know i couldn't escape anywhere further.

Lord, i can't help but feel so terribly rotten. As the day is nearing, my fear increases. I wonder how people will think of me, the new laughing stock. And, how will they think of You. I wonder think imagine. Covers eyes, shut mind. I dare not think anymore. It's so horrifying and i'm not exaggerating a single bit. Will i be able to withstand the trial? Will i pass this testing? No, i don just want to merely pass, i wanna soar and.. I want to be all that You want me to be. But, i just seem so far away.
It's the first time in so long i felt so helpless, so weak, so lousy, so humbled. I hate it that it's bothering me. I hate it that i lack so much and that i'm not good enough. I hate it that i wanna do so much more yet i am skills-restrained. Church is for the strong. But i'm weak or just mediocre. Do you not see this heart of mine?

-

Precious Lord, Reveal Your heart to me.

Since you did this to me, Lord, You better show me that it's not at the expense of me and that it better be part of Your marvellous plan. Yes, you say you will never shortchange those who love and serve you. So, make every bit of my life worthwhile. I can't wait for Your plan crafted specially for me to unfold before my eyes. I will continue to trust. Your timing. Give me lots of patience.
K, meanwhile i'll be faithful to you and your business.

Thank you so much for being in my life. I simply cannot imagine my life without you.

Love you much,

xueping

EVO

2007-03-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

Work's pushed to April 1st. And i attended EVO Retreat and stayed over 2 nights unexpectedly. Thank God for this opportunity because i'd learnt a whole lot from the teachings and the experience itself. Mostly self realisation supported by God's confirmation. Mind blowing la.

I was really quite upset Karryn and Zhige couldnt make it. But i enjoyed the company of the others even so. We went star gazing. It's been quite a while, i haven had the luxury of time to see stars so beautiful in the night. We laid on the concrete floor, enjoyed the sea breeze, reflected the day's events, enjoyed one another's company and i felt so blessed by the camp. Screamed and ran and laughed and climbed over gates and played with cats and dogs. Ahaha.

Squeezing the bed with other 4 people was a total bad experience. To be under Yiwei's nose, my leg touching her butt so i curled myself up the whole time. I had back, legs, arms cramp and my neck is stiffed now. Draw with Jen after a two solid hour chess game. Cindy and i went mad cow binge eating one tray of left over chicken wings yummy. Nano was in good use too. We blast worship songs with Miaowen's mini amplifier as lullabys to sleep.

--

Mm. I'm tested and er can i say, very hurt.
Faithfulness goes a long way. I'm prepared. God you really matter to me. I need you. See my heart's desires. I uphold all these into your hands. I cast all fears and anxieties to you. Watch over me. Amen.

When i'm weak, then i am strong!

Faithfulness

2007-03-11T22:57:00.000+08:00

Being faithful in the little little things.

A glimpse of Heaven

2007-03-10T07:20:00.000+08:00

A few days back i pocketed 60 easy cash from hearing P1 kids read. Very cute and intelligent readers. Till now, i still can't find my payslip that amounts to 100$. Shame on XXX agency. It's been more than three months alright. Oh btw, i'll be working at Kids21 at the Forum so please visit me if you happen to be along Orchard stretch. Kinda pull strings and i wanna quit before i even start haha. I rly hope to join Kar at Sentosa.

My Moto is still not here yet. Too much okay. I'm way cool carrying bulky Nokia3310 everyone laughs at me. Sheek like that k. Oh read this i am harpee as a lark. I finally got my Nano from the IT fair ytd :D Beams and shows off! Haha. It will be very well ultilised.

Prayer Meet was Wow. Wow. Indescribable. Ehm i wish i can explain further!
I'm just so glad i found Jesus. It's like only in Him do i feel complete. Undeniable alr. I think i rly need Him.
Oh Karryn please rem not to buy me SOUVENIRS I TELL YOU.

I've decided to go Australia with school but i missed the dateline. Prft. I'l see how it goes. Though i'd rather go with Samantha/Deborah/Karryn and just laze and tour around with no specific agenda. Ah luxury like that ha. And. I want to go travelling. For life that is.

Forget what is behind, Strain toward what is ahead.

Put to shame

2007-03-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

TMD Ahahahahah!

I'll blog proper some other time.

Let's Fast!

2007-03-08T06:09:00.001+08:00

Ripped from Kar's.

01. Fast from anger and hatred. Give your family and friends an extra dose of love each day.

02. Fast from judging others. Before making any judgements, recall how Jesus overlooks our faults.

03. Fast from discouragement. Hold on to Jesus' promise that He has a perfect plan for your life.

04. Fast from complaining. When you find yourself about to complain, close your eyes and recall some of the little moments of joy Jesus has given you.

05. Fast from resentment or bitterness! Work on forgiving those who may have hurt you.

06. Fast from spending too much money. Try to reduce your spending by ten percent and give those savings to the poor.

Teach me Dear Lord to live all of my life through your eyes.
I give my life to the Potter's hands.

All over again

2007-03-04T02:40:00.000+08:00

Caught Paris Je t'aime with Karr.
The death of heart is the ugliest death.

Just completed two dramas and two books since the term break.
True pleasure! Very thought-provoking and enriching. Indeed, shu zong zi you huang jin wu. Hah.
Only someone perfect can truly love someone imperfect. This was made obvious. Ah.

Learnt, re-learnt and experienced a whole lot this time.
God! (:

Now. Priorities.

Surprise, surprise!

2007-03-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

♥♥♥
irreplaceable.
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
irreplacable
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
without e lahs
♥♥♥
wna bet.
♥♥♥
bet 10 $
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
bet !
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
is without the E
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
yucks
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
i dun wanna bet money
♥♥♥
bet subway
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
ok
=Some PG= Je t'aime = The pursuit of happyness;irreplacable
fine!

Be my witness. Kar owes me Subway!

The answer is dream

2007-03-02T00:44:00.000+08:00

I dream. Sometimes i think that's the only right thing to do. To dream, to live in a world of dreams- just as Sumire said. But it doesn't last for ever. Wakefulness always comes to take me back.

2007-02-28T20:07:00.000+08:00

I am 19 this year.

Paper faces On parade.

2007-02-25T03:41:00.000+08:00

Thursday was very sweet. Samuel and Joshua gave me a surprise- Movie treat- Norbit. Bad choice though. Went back Samuel's place and caught Kingdom of Heaven for the second time together and its still so good! Stayed over at Kar's. And i enjoyed myself thoroughly at Sentosa on Friday, totally, absolutely if not for my annoying camera. Letters from Iwo Jima today, i really like it.
Aye. Skip details, lazy to select and post pictures too. Another time maybe.

Perfect love casts out all fears

2007-02-22T03:07:00.000+08:00

You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of needs
You are the hope that leads me on
and brings me to my knees

For there i find you waiting
And there i find release
So with all my heart i'll worship
And unto you i sing...

Final straw

2007-02-21T17:41:00.000+08:00

)':

Chu Er

2007-02-20T02:01:00.000+08:00

Did the usual family visitation and collected more angbaos.
T'was good today 'cause i met Zhige and the rest in the aftn. Love her!

I finally conquered the Spider Webnet at West Coast Park too.

Grin

2007-02-19T01:09:00.000+08:00

The impressionist
A healthier gonggong (:

ANGBAOS

2007-02-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

I really feel so blessed! $$$
May Chu Er be more fruitful! Ahaha.
Chatted with Godmama just and i'd seriously love to go Europe once more!

Babel, anyone?

I need a reason why.

Sweet Intoxication!

2007-02-18T01:58:00.000+08:00

I love my room better now i can stay in whole day.

-Xue cant cook. But dinner with family was fab.
-Caught The OC season 1.
-Danced on our grandfather's road and
-Screamed hit me baby one more time at the Banglas/Indians.
-Played virtual car racing.
-Crooning to Phantom of the Opera's soundtrack.
-Blast loud music. R&B and Classic night.
-Body vandalism and, multiple cartwheels and somersaults.
-Slowest chocolate eating competition.

I love such night. I love.

Ending my night with Him.

That's what i long for

2007-02-17T15:50:00.000+08:00

Keep me pure o lord.
A Pure heart. A Pure mind.

Eve

2007-02-17T12:54:00.000+08:00

I may have to call off the planned bangkok trip with samantha love because of. Bother really. Money.

Seriously, i don spend, i splurge. Bad habit i know. Right now i really need a good paying job so badly. I reckon i have to slog like a mad cow to earn back some hard cash.

I woke up with a painful gastric. I'm gonna pierce my ear bone and neck, do something to my hair. I want books as well.

I'm annoyed (and puzzled) at certain things. God, please intervene.

BUNGEE JUMPING

2007-02-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

I've been using a spare sony cell for one week and i lost it just today at the bus-stop/cab. I don know what's wrong with me and no, i'm definitely not proud to say i'd lost it Three times in Three months okay! I was so scared, it's not even funny anymore. BUT! Prayer does work really really! Because what i thought my family clan will flare up big time at me actually tried to make me feel so much better even though it's really my fault losing it! My grandpa even reminded them not to mention this matter anymore. Thank you God!

Oh, Examinations are finally over!!! Can i spell liberation here? CNY duoduo angbao yey.

HAPPY 21ST BLESSED BIRTHDAY JEAN UTAN ONG!

So blog-worthy. After several plannings, confirmations and phonecalls&msn convo and despite hurtful remarks (mainly from jean), bad weather (RAIN!) and various unforeseen circumstances, our plan works out successfully well. I hope you'd your day, Jean!
In short. Deborah, Zejun and i led Jean to Wheelock Underpass where Vincent & Augustine with Balloons and Kar, Zhige and Yiwei with the mini cake and song shocked and left a sweet surprise for Jean. We then blindfolded her all the way from Lido to Clarke Quay for her BungeeChallenge! (Digress, i saw Xuanting just! I so miss her! We gotta meet during CNY before her prelims and all please!) K, so she sportingly agreed to take the ride, along with Deborah and i my first bungee it was OMG so excitingly fun! Utan's reaction's classic, HAHAHA. And we got the video of the Jump FOC too! More videos too than pictures. Shopped a little with Kar thenafter and Subway ends my day fine.

I took too long to upload one video. Photobucket's down. Nehneh! I'l post it another time.

Spring cleaning! (:

Your grace is all i rely on

2007-02-14T17:37:00.000+08:00

Playing repeatedly on itunes- Take All of Me

Of which i can remember,

#1 I travelled from school to Clementi Station by foot just so that i can soak in the sun longer. Sun is good! I likeeekee.

#2 Visited Raywne love last Friday. Was coerced to be a PAssion member. And! I got signed up for Karate Classes, omg. All laugh! Damn funny and so unbelievably gross i know haah. It's like me telling you Karryn joined Ballet Classes sort.

#3 Met up with Deborah and slept at her place, haha.

#4 I ordered my MotoRazr Red phone! It was no stock everywhere. Thankfully Queensway's retail has it!

#5 Prayer Meet was very powerful. Oh, and there's Miracle Making too!
I love God! I love my church!

#6 Ate at Vi'lage after service for Valentine's dinner. Karryn and i actually bought the gifts last minute. Had gift exchange and my present is like the best?! Flower! Uhm hahaha. And Karryn hoped she didn't get mine but well, she actually did! It was damn funny! And i realised everyone there, except Jean&i, couldn't pronounced Analogy?! HAHHAHHAH. Kar, youre a joke la.

#7 Grandpa ~~fell~~ flew off bed because he dream-fight. Fractured his toes, earned a deep cut at the corner of his eyes, bruises and cuts everywhere. And his sunken cheeks so swollen! It must be painful like anything. But grandpa's so strong. I hope he's comforted that Yeshu's with him, then and now.

#8 Evangelised with Yiwei and Zejun then studied at KAP together with Kar and Jean.

#9 Family dinner. My younger cousins so retarded i love them! My aunt struck lottery! So i am 100$ richer. Speaking of which, i think i got cheated by a job agency. It's been almost two months and my 100$ paycheck's still not sent.

#10 One more paper to go! I need to talk and think about Post exams activities.

Love that's stronger. Love that covers sin, and takes the weight of the world.
I love you, all of my Hope is in you. Jesus Christ take my life, take all of me.

I love you so, and i give up my heart to say i need you so, my everything.

In Him, i found Peace

2007-02-08T11:01:00.000+08:00

Our Daily Bread
ODB literally, has been my faithful daily essential. This February's series speak into my life in a very intimate and personal way it seems as though God has customised these pages especially for me. (:
Devotion.
In my missionary high school, we used to call Morning Chapels and Friday Assembly Devotion period. I guess back then the term was so commonly used that i didn't grasp or perhaps overlook the underlying meaning behind the suggested name. Devotion, Devoted to Jesus.

Mommy led me into prayer with her last night. Aloud. And from her, i re-learnt that while praying, focus on the Giver and not the Gift. Focus on God and not the Object.

God, You're my Source.

$$$

2007-02-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

I should be in Church now but cramps is killing me bad :S

:D:D:D!
Yesterday was trigger happy. I brought camera so, Pictures!

Oh anw, i think my irregular sleeping pattern is destroying my immune system. I didn't sleep on Thursday night at all. I was packing my table trying to find and gather all my notes, throw most unwanted ones away. When done, i had to wash up to meet Karryn in school already. So while waiting for her to finish class, i took a quick nap on beanbag in library. We took a bus down Queensway. Day was so good and sunny Loves, it makes everyone go cheeeery! Then we headed Lido for lunch at Subway. Combed Lido, Wheelock, Wisma, Heeren and found Samantha at Fling working in action, haha hug you! I love shopping with Kar because we splurge! Got our buys and went home abso satisfied!

Mommy cooks a mean pot of salmon fried rice!

What are you waiting for!

2007-02-02T03:04:00.000+08:00

Airport Terminal One, 3-11.

It was the last day of ATF and there wasn't many delegates. So we stood till we went boredom mad and feet so sore. Clarence and i reinvented our own games, Catch and Capture virtual fish. Ate at Popeyes. Got to know more about Tourism industry in real world. Roamed about and bumped into all sorts of tourists, one of whom a British who has such an aww slang; Oh Lovely!
So surreal, everything there's all so similar to the scenes of The Terminal.

I nearly snip my hair off.

Haruki Murakami is love. Well not exactly. His works Are, are splendid! I am so going to buy all his Vintage books. All to my heart's content!

That's the problem with me.
I get sucked into the story plot, fiction or not, and become deluded i am Alice in the wonderland, either that or i am glued to the book i forget to eat. I forget almost everything and i forget Time exist. Horrifying.

I've been thinking a lot about Life, and Time lately.
Mercilessly, the hands of the Second, Minute and Hour runs in circles. Time waits for no man, it never stops. Apt.
Can i put it that Time governs the world too? That we are all Time-constraint.

Very soon i realise, i am or rather, my Life is running against Time.

Dilemma

2007-01-30T01:25:00.000+08:00

You know the Bible 90%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events,

the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

This is amusing.

I'm down with serious flu. Puffed up eyes. Itch and hurt a whole lot!

Subway. Daiso&Muji. All i can remember.

I've only started a few pages on Sputnik Sweetheart, and i find it really awesome already!
How does Murakami manage to make poetry while writing of contemporary life and emotions? I am weak-kneed with admiration. Exactly.

Considering that i lose my stuff so easily, the budget given to me is below a hundred. They actually wanted to get me MotoRazr v3m Red. I'm eyeing on LG white or Samsung E900 but the latter's too similar to my previous E630C. Right now i'm lusting over MotoSlvr. But Moto has bad functions!! :S

Hope reignited

2007-01-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Without Vision, Man perish.

Today i am so thankful to have classmates who are Christ followers, who declare their Love for God openly and shamelessly. You don know how encouraging it is to mix with people in school who has Jesus so evident in their lives. So Encouraging that i can dance parapara!
Then i had an impromptu meet up with Deborah Ng Hui Jing and we chilled at Far Coast (outside Lido) before we parted and i headed off to CTM/DMM. An hour odd; Time stood still. Either that or it went into vacuum space. Before i go on endlessly thanking every single being who made me&my day, thank You for this friend who shares this same vision and passion with me.

And may it brings you pleasure Lord. His Voice brings conviction.

Do take note of this.
I'm embarking on 7-Day Fasting and Praying. Brief break from Msn and Blog-related activities. Keep me in prayer all love.

Post Script (i intended to type much more but due to time constraint, till 7 days later!)

KthxBye.

Lit up

2007-01-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

Busy; it best summarises Thursday through Saturday.

NP open house and school was filled with people it cheers me up! I really like crowd.
K let me recall. Almost 9-8 at the booth, french lesson and oral test, acquainted with a few new friends whom i thought were funny. Walked around Convention Centre giving out flyers in ugly outfit everyone laughed at me boohoo nvm. No pictures throughout.
It robbed my Saturday morning as well. Missed Ikea, joined Zhige back to her place and ate Subway at cine, had romantic walk in the thunderrain aww and got soaking wet, sneezed in Service, went ps spotlight&cine and reached home early.

Tomorrow 10am at Terminal 2. The word excites me! Airport.

Backdated

2007-01-19T06:57:00.000+08:00

Wednesday

I was sad )':
Poured out to Cat (Like how Audrey Hepburn named hers). Resorting to such odd behavior made me lighter, somewhat.
With every sentence i complete & each sigh i heave, Cat glares with that eyes and purrs. In what i imagined, HS in disguise of Cat.
There was peace then.

..never will i leave you, never will i forsake you.

By thy mercy, By thy Grace

2007-01-16T03:29:00.000+08:00

All along you were beside me, even when i couldn't tell
Through the years, you showed me more of you

iPhone, dope. Ah i cannot wait to get a pretty cellphone! I've been using payphones that's so smelly i looked so pathetic like that. End jan please come quick!
and what's with the Red Products? Like both nano and razrv3 red? i like but its too commercialised already. Ugh why. K yes anti Aids, do give them your support.

CTR on 2006&7 was what i thought. Finely encapsulated. Intriguing even. Congregational P&W was jumped madly/hands high up. Testimonies were powerful it spurred me on and proved all the more that God is indeed a faithful One. NP won the best of best award for (i forgot what!). Heart warming too esp when the aged man walked up the stage (As a new leader omg!) to be prayed over by the elders. You're so fine you blew my mind. I can almost imagine my grandpa there!

Dinner with family at ECP never felt any better. Family. They made me whole.

Breakfast at Tiffany's with Samantha. Cute show and Audrey Hepburn's so pretty.
(Anw, BORAT IS SHYT FUNNY! ahahahahahahahahah)
And i cant wait to go States ah time and money please allow.

Sharing the same heartbeat. His voice became so clear and distinct. I want more!

Evangelism was never something i was proficient in.
& this facade. How long am i gonna live behind it?

Living for the present or the future? Hrm. My speech and actions don tally.

I wish I can be better to gain your favour, i wish.. Oh wait i already am perfect in your eyes.

Nothing you can do could make Him love you more. His love for me does not based on my performance. Even when i'm feeling lousy/i am lousy, he still love and he still bless. I'm already blessed enough to have such a God who is Love personified. (:

To win the world;

2007-01-12T04:21:00.000+08:00

If there's one attribute i can choose to possess- The ability to challenge people's thoughts, reason with their mind and convince their whole being.

Oh well, every spiritual gift is innate and gifted by God himself. Accept, Love and Use it. Right i'm telling myself.

All about You today, tomorrow and forevermore. About You About You About You About You About You About You About You About You About You About You, not me. K i made my point clear.

One of the '05 Christmas cards read 'Don't limit your challenges. Challenge your limits'. I didn't fully grasp the latter until I read the former. I foresee so many problems coming my way. Not very prepared/geared up but gonna tide it with God.

To grow, there must be problems.
And you might just be one of my problems. Ugh.

Repentance. & Forgiveness
I'm so sorry Lord. I compromised yet again :(

Anw, today, i received one of the many and biggest (not in multitude or tangible measures) blessings my God lavished on me. Thank You thank You. He really takes good care of me. Why did i complain? I couldn't ask for more already.

Set me for greater purpose. Use me in greater measure.

Overwhelming my being

2007-01-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

My life fast forwarded since 2004-end, too quickly my delusional state of mind couldn't catch up with the reality.

A pure heart that follows hard after thee. Fix eyes on the ark.

Wasted my entire day sneezing away and snuggling in bed. Must be the heavy downpour yesterday >:( Thank God for mommy who got me Subway for ~~dinner~~ supper which perked me up a bit.

I'm beginning to like Xiaxue haha she's quite candid albeit brainless onscreen.

An outlet. A form of expression.
A canvas. Now.

The power of words is immense. Said the Gift of Exhortation.

Call me deeper into Your Grace

2007-01-10T06:32:00.000+08:00

words and pictures don't collide

I wanna care for others like Jesus cares for me

2007-01-09T14:29:00.000+08:00

Sorry i just have this queer habit of summarising my day right here.

Yesterday Jose and i walked from Eunos interchange to JooChiat Church office.
This morning i met Zhige in bus 67 so coincidentally yet again. I can go practise gift of discernment. Clueless about Financial Management i've got a Mount Everest of tutorials to conquer. Food and Beverage Management's the most redundant module. And i just attended this SIA cabincrew career talk. Bye i shall go fly and be air stewardess.

I've been staying out late too frequently even on weekdays i think i should curb this habit already and could i please hang on there for another 4 more weeks and itll be the awaited vacation! Sorrry if i reject or postpone dates i love y'all all the same. I have to get out of Singapore this Feb i must i've been stucked in Sunny island for more than 6 months (excluding my mission trip) :/ Travel travel! Heaves, thank God im not tied down by projects but like i've got 5 examination papers to take? Hallelujah mann. K going home to nap. My eyebags are bigger than my eyes.

This youth leader once told me this.
The tougher it is to shepherd, sow on and disciple, the greater potential this person has.
:D

Fond memories. Archived.

2007-01-08T13:30:00.000+08:00

Yesternight, i was packing my stuff and i digged out one of my diaries written in P6 accompanied with more than fifty scrolls of letters folded in a old school manner. (Digress. I suspect i was a les in the making. Ask and i'll show you the content) As i read through, those once cherished memories came in so vivid it really seemed like a week ago those events happened. I laughed at how innocent (&stupid) i used to think and how i was so friends-oriented w/o them i would die sort. I was a very relational person then, even till today.
Primary 6 was eventful. That year i took my first sbs bus home. 10pm was considered as very very late. DDR was the in thing. PS was my hangout place after school we would walked through this creepy path to get there. Taking neoprints was a must do activity almost every day. Discman was the coolest possession. Britney Spears was hot and Lucky was the clique's song. I was the monitress and i got into troubles. I loved chapels and gospels every friday morning. (a bible study lesson taught by our form teacher)
And i also realised i had many very close friends (whom i don contact anymore)

So strange. Friends don seem familiar to me now. Not anymore.

It's funny too. I used to buy into Horoscopes. Not the hardcore kind. But i always thought i could only get along with Scorpios (Oct, Nov and Dec babies) And if i knew their birthmonths were any of the 3, i would think that it was some kind of divine plan we could actually be friends forever. K don laugh at this.

For the 'Friends' Resolution this year. I really should learn to
Keep friends. Treasure them.

I pray this friend will come into my life. A spiritual buddy.

You're the lover of my heart

2007-01-07T21:05:00.000+08:00

Church ytd. (: Ate at Cine foodcourt like always i had takeaways from s11 my fav doryfish pasta set meal yummy. Went with Jorris to celebrate Donald's birthday with the rest. Zhige and Kar surprised me there. They played bowling and pool and Zhige's really good at bowling! I played the photo(i cant remember whats that)machine with the tp girls i like it so fun.

I can be a narrator already. Narrate my day.

Went prinsep place and kopitiam and then i couldnt go home so the np guys stayed on with me till 6am. We walked to merlion and had a truth no dare game, or rather to know you session. It's like the first time i never get to really know who they are and it's pretty nice.

Tell me this entry is interesting

Then i made it home just in time. Had breakfast with grandparents and the block's hot cutie loves my grandpapa. He followed us everywhere! So cute.

K slept and went out to print my photos and sort my photos. I have 2385 photos in my picasa.

Pour out. Poured out.

2007-01-06T00:02:00.000+08:00

Met Kar in school coincidentally and chilled at Westmall Coffeebean. I am clumsy :/ like really. I cant walk properly and i spilled an almost full glass of hot chocolate over Kar's kah-moo. Sawrlee.

I got the urge to pierce my nape, tongue, lip, bones pierce high ooh. A tattoo somewhere ooh k Impulse. No me no sadist me fine. And mommy said okay yes not very surprisingly so omg! wow wow wow gave consent then she added she'd buy me indian apuneh stickers and stick-on tattoos for me. Wts ok she's damn funny.

I don like blogging about just my day and what i do. I have so much inside me that i have to let it all out. I keep a journal (saved notepads in a folder). But i wanna blog these private journals like i used to, which is ironical because those entries are as said, Private, and yet i wanna post those on www read by unknowns. I am placing myself in a vulnearable position doing so. However absurd it may be, i do want people to read my private thoughts i guess in a way i feel better like i'm accounting and sharing these thoughts to someone.

I know it's long wordy entry no one reads. But i don really care hahahaha.
<3 I really love my block's hot fav! He's too cute (k a dog) but he's got infected eyes :(
I Must get my pet tamagotchi.

Omg i just received a mail from Uncle Jeff. I really love my family they are so encouraging and rewarding he's giving me $$ to buy dress just because of my cma grade?! Aww. Bye let me melt.

(edited)
While it's fresh in my mind and before i forget.

'Come and see the nailed-print in His hands. Find a friend who truly understands.'
Only Jesus understands.

'I could have the world and all its treasures, but all these things would never be enough.'
Only Jesus is enough.

Standing between the world and the holy realm.
Flowing with the crowd. Following Jesus.
Believing the things before me and fixing my eyes on the everlasting.
Temporal high or Eternal joy?

Only now i see the vast clear differences.
I know i will soon forget. This entry shall remind me the italics.

sneak peep

2007-01-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

A recount of first two schooldays.

First day of school saw me through 9-5 lectures and tutorial. I scored a high mark of 87 (really omg right!) for cma test 2 though i failed the first one. This's exclusively for qb. Walked down kap with class during our 3-hour break. Bev and i ate sushi from cold storage instead and i drank mac vanilla milkshake which tasted like melted artificial vanilla ice cream, ew.
I like Beverly. She's this very calm and sophisticated girl. Talked about La salle, design, school, future and church. And she is one who sees me the way i wish to see myself as.

Met Zhige at lib and Jose in atrium. After which we headed Shaw lido for Eragon with cg which was alright why compare to lotr at all? Maybe only saphira interests me (Oh, 3 of us had complimentary tickets see) Had mini celebration for Zhige at Borders fountain we acted so omg retardedly. Love all!

Rained. I went over Samantha's and waited for the longest time for her as usual and then it was chill party drink high dance. Quite pathetic im sorry but i love you k so everything's fun!

---

Today i'd french class. Took the oral test. I finally caught Before Sunset. Loove the dialogues! It evokes so much within. Live in the moment.

I need to fix new layout template.

A merry entry

2007-01-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

Blessed 19th Birthday Clau(dear) Neo Zhige!
A few pictures. I couldnt upload the video! >:/

Met Kar and went down to Maritime Restaurant below Vincent's place to dine. Fab ambience but food was so-so. We were coerced by the birthday girl to bowl at West coast recreation. Then walked over Clementi's mac to have supper and chatted with Deb and Zhige. Cabbed back Vincent's place to play Mahjong and Blackjack.

Thanks for opening up and sharing. I was really very (: almost on cloudnine already.
And it's like the first time ever you could stay out! So i forfeited the next 5 weeks for your sake. Touched not Zhige!

2007 will be good.
Because i put in effort and because i will walk in His ways.

(edited)
And again, Hello.
I've too many pictures to upload so i shall forgo it. I ought to say this-
I totally enjoy being with Samantha and Suetyi!

Went Bugis with Gramps just now. Grandpa's over the pluto till now, haha. They sat at starbucks while mommy and i shopped like mad dogs! And people please scream and get high with me! I finally got my Topshop membership card after so long. Tell me i deserve it!

Back from Hiatus

2007-01-01T03:48:00.000+08:00

2006 should come to a complete closure.
I felt obliged to settle some of my thoughts and embrace the new year ahead with open arms, and a open heart.

Cynicism and Compromises filled in and ate my soul away, too unknowingly. Unbelievably.
But if i were to live all over again, i may choose the same route. I'd chose this for myself anyway.
Still there were also some external issues here and there that i don know how else to deal with till now. I may opt to leave it as it is and throw it all to God. Moreover, there are too many to go through, evaluate everything and come to a definite conclusion.

(Omg, i really have so much to say that i could write a book of my thoughts haha!)

My last quarter ended not in a way i would like to see it as. It was good nevertheless and i enjoyed it very much, but it could have been better and more fruitful.
This struck me. 'He gave you the best. Why did you settle for the second-best?' Why choose good enough (mediocre) when He has the best for you?'

All in His plans.

2007 Resolutions.
To be a good steward of my thoughts

By Your wondrous love

2006-12-14T12:54:00.000+08:00

Random+Airhead

#1 I feel very confident of my cma paper. NOW, IT SPELLS TERM BREAK!

#2 OMYGAAAHH, internet! I had this shocking yet pleasant discovery.

#3 I find it very funny that our dearest librarian is Miaowen's grandmom's sis. Know that curly hair daym fierce librarian who walks around telling you to keep quiet every 5 mins like she really has a certain quota to meet everyday.

#4 I want Junkfood tees very badly. I don like the ones at Queen's Couture or maybe everyone's bought all my favs leaving me with zilch selection. Why, why don they just ship over to Sg?! O and this is way due but i really love the Paul frank slippers from Karryn and Zhige! Hint hint to those who owe me outstanding prezzies, you can secretly mail me something! I want Topshop vouchers!

#5 I need need really need to watch Before Sunset

#6 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

#7 Gotta see Dermatologist and Dentist.

#8 I've got a Mobile Connect Modem already no more leeching and taking risk.

#9 I want my floor to be carpeted. New Furnish go the new Ikea! :D

#10 How can i convince my family to allow kitties & pugs at home?

#11 I've got Phantom of the Opera London cast audio CD. Quite cash tight so please if youre interested, tell me. Youll like it!

(edited) really long.

I like intellectual conversations that made me ponder think and reflect. But hardly anyone opens up anymore except to their blogs almost just like me. Maybe it's quite hard to find someone to talk to, someone who'll somehow understand. Anw, we are too superficial. We'll rather talk about CLOTHES, $$$, PEOPLE and EVENTS ALL THE TIME, GOD too!

Sometimes, i do love quiet time. And yesterday was one of the rare nights i did some real self reflection and be in touch with my mind and soul.

I like time alone with my thoughts. Sorting and resorting them and finding a certain sequential pattern in the way i think and the way people and things work. And when i do figure stuff out, i feel really satisfied and enlightened. Like having knots untangled and a heavy burden lifted up sort.

Some thinking however consumed so much of my energy and time because they're either unexplainable due to my infinite mind or just plain pointless which i still insist there has to be some reason behind, and it just got me more confused than ever. I'd probably spent a third of my life thinking, of which one third may be nonsensical and senseless, and perhaps pointless because i may have read too much.

I talk a lot about God privately. And i like doing so.
I guess there are certain things i will never fully comprehend. His love for me which's displayed on the cross is one of those i will never understand, and whatever my God is thinking now remains mystical. I like to think that there's always a logical reason behind every thing. But he proved me otherwise. His love is illogical. If His love is logical, He wouldn't have died for us. It left me speechless.
..What is man that you are mindful of him?...

I can think of a million of reasons for me to go against this belief, and prolly a thousand more to stop serving already. But i just need one reason for me to continue. I'm glad i do know the reason is Him.

It's been awhile since i post random thoughts here. But it's quite exciting if like there's someone out there who can totally understand these and perhaps we can talk! Haha. But seriously im quite curious, don't yall Think too? As in really THINK. And i wonder what yall think about.

Okay i shall nap!

2006-12-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

I lost my phone yet AGAIN! Twice in less than a month. :'/
I have to color my hair BLACK as well. Wo bu yao!

kkk 2 more papers to go! :D

What do i have to give?

2006-12-08T01:59:00.000+08:00

Caught Walk the Line and Kingdom of Heaven. Secured ATF shifts. Free ball. Caregroup. Cable Car for 3$ and Mount Faber walk with Huijing (happy 18th!) and Karryn. Invites for Who Killed Santa 2. Dry run at Fort Canning. And school. That sums up this week.

4 Tests before 14th, Church x'mas services, parties, dinners..

Btw, that's Samantha's ugly feet. She wants me to credit her.

This'd been killing me. Stuck up face.
Tiredness wasn't the main reason. It was an excuse to hide away awkwardness and having to admit the very fact that my face's prolly like this always. I'm really friendly and nice what! Right right!
I've tried and i'm tired of getting similar results time and again. People buffers me sometimes.

I love You more than my heart could sing

2006-12-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

God isn't fair. He is just.

Spent my late afternoon through evening doing my cma past tutorials (:

You know mommy and i were watching LOTR just now. And in one of the scenes, she commented 'Wah so many troops of soldiers! I think 2$ per person per day'. Hahaha, i think it's funny! She likes commenting that whenever she sees a large group of people acting as part-timer calafares.

BTW ALL. I've got a temporary phone already. Line resumed. Text/ring me, same number.

I'm here because someone didn't give up on me then; Even when i'd given up hope on myself, even when noone believed me (except God), someone didn't give up on me and was willing to give me a second chance. So, don give up on them k?

Never underestimate the slightest thing you do. It may mean alot to someone. Impacting lives.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.
G'night!

All pales in comparison to You

2006-12-02T00:02:00.000+08:00

1 piles of clothes 2 miniature 3 shubaby 4 np3 5 tr21 6 npgrrls 7 np3 (:

I hope i clinched the f&b job at wheelock place. But i doubt they want me cause i said i only wanna work for less than 6months and excluding sats. D:
But i really love Booooorders. Wahraoooo, why no company wanna accept me!

I caught The Terminal today. It was abso good can!

And Samantha Ting, you left w/o telling me?!?!!?!?!? Secretgurlzzzzz123 mann. Hate ew.

Fine Dining @Chijmes tmrw.

IMF still hasnt pay me. 385
Popo owes me an outstanding amt of 70.
Going for ATF. I want 280
And for my module, i work too.

$$$ keep rolling in!

K i will study i will study i will study.

P.S I love mommy! Lazy to say why.

2006-11-30T19:01:00.000+08:00

Jesus has empathy. He can relate.
He showed us the reason to live.

DEAR ALL,
I lost my samsung mobile in school yesterday morning. So i am currently uncontactable.
DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT CALL/TEXT ME. Msn/mail/ring/tag me please.
Funny thing was my mom lost my phone last week. And i lost hers yesterday. Like mother like daughter, said my entire family. Uncanny telepathy wey. Even funnier, this incident was very teeheehee for me. (:

As you serve more, you will be less self-confident. -Jasmine Poon
This was something very assuring for me.
I know i was on the right path, i know i wasn't alone.
Sure enough. Less confidence in myself but, more confidence in the Lord.

No longer 'me'. KOG mentality already.

Had been busy in school. Presentations, tutorials and i attended all lectures too.
Caregroup ytd and today was French class and job interviews.

RAOOWW, i have like millions & thousands of pictures to be uploaded. But as i said its 000,000 & everyday it just keeps accumulating till im too lazy to upload all. No visuals.
Make do k.

I really hope i didnt take you for granted (:

2006-11-27T19:25:00.000+08:00

Pleasantly fine. Strangely undefined.
I prayed for you today (:

Out with Shu at J8's Coffeebean on Sunday evening. It was rare for her to ask me out since i always initiate. Though it was all unplanned and so rush, we did meet up unexpectedly and it was good company i enjoyed. The 2-hour odd studying session was pretty effective for me. Sipping hot choc and nibbling free snacks (from a hope brother working there), sitting in the most comfortable or perhaps unglam position we deemed fit, and snapping away over eighty pictures made my night.

Then that same night i played Virtual Mahjong with user id: yandao666. Haha. Go guess.
If you know, please tell me what's 3f in Yahoo Mahjong context. I got booted out of tables countless times already, the regulars just don bother explaining i don know why. A duck thought and insisted that 3f's vital stats. Haha?! I thought it was all very amusing for my liking. (Un-name to protect identity)

Just. Meixuan came to visit me. She's sucha sweetheart. We walked down Bukit Timah Plaza only to find Pizza hut closed for renovation. Climbed slopes just to savour SIM's tasty butter rice. After which, we went to library to catch Mean girls. We embarrassed ourselves too many times :O We saw many people and familiar faces i don normally see today too. Parted unwillingly and then, it was proj meeting.

School brought me back to reality once again.
Seriously. It's worrying. School life seems bleak.
I think i need 2 weeks to catch up on my school work.
Jesus! Multiply and Maximise my time. I need to be very disciplined.

What happens if your prayer and your desire to see something come to past becomes infutile attempts. And whatever you say doesnt actualise. Wont you be a hypocrite? Saying and seeing nothing done. :\ Or wont that just prove that Oh so your God works to this extent? It's hurting to hear that. And sometimes it's discouraging when you start to take in these words and gradually believe it.

We say it's the thought that counts yadayada. But almost all the time and in all instances, actions speak far more. Actions aligning with words.

I don wanna give in when i hadn't put on a fight. What's your conviction? What keeps you going strong? I wish i knew and be very firm in it. I think i know. But i'm quite unsure still. Then, i wont have to care too much and keep doing what i believe.

I feel a little stupid and a loss for words. Sometimes i can't find the exact words to represent my thoughts and feelings. I need a book. I need to commune more.

OHKAY. I shall end on a lighter note. I look forward to meeting you & you & you! I wanted to add some pictures but i'm lazy.

2006-11-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

This Assurance (:

What He'd done for the past month and how i'd reacted to such. Really HAHAHA when i think about it. He'd planned all these. He knew just exactly how i'd react. I was in His plans. I was in His hands. (:

So easy to misfocus and lose track.
So easy to be short sighted & narrow minded.
So easy to see the Problems right in my face and forget the bigger picture.
So easy to be inward looking and self centered.
So easy to rely on myself.

I thought i knew it. I thought i could do it. I thought..
And yet. I don know. I don know so much.

How One so big could love the One so small..
I come to You not by my own strength. But in weakness i call the one who's strong.
He comes only to the Broken.
So in Humility, i come to You.

Once you get it, you get everything.

The best gift you can offer to someone is to pray for them. Very sweet and so true.

2006-11-26T02:57:00.000+08:00

He speaks in the least expected way.
Amazed by You

ALL ABOUT SCHOOL
To fill an entry and to serve as a reminder.

Past week
Our group did well for Marketing (L'Oreal Paris) presentation! Test was easy too (:
CMA paper was a killer. Dead for that.
FABM was bad haha too lazy to explain. But 10m gone like that. I'm sure there were more marks loss unknowingly. Bad.
Submitted my TRMK yey.

This week: To-do
Call up Pan Pacific Hotel
Call up Subway. Then proceed to either plan A/B
Download to-print lecture&tutorial notes
Please attend all CMA, CEM, TRMK and FABM lectures
CMA e tutorial
CEM tutorial
Print CMA textbook. (Tutorial questions)
FMGT tutorials
FMGT presentation
FABM tutorials
FABM journal
TRMK tutorial 5&6

*To be edited

2006-11-23T04:25:00.000+08:00

Dread. This week i pray you whizz past too fast too quick. Well, almost. I'm getting there. Test and presentation later and pfft. TGIF! Oh and i can't wait for weekends to come.

You set your eyes upon me from the very start

2006-11-22T12:52:00.000+08:00

Daym funny. I was looking through my msn list and i saw someone's nick 'I HATE MY LIFE!' Then i was like who's this emo eeediot. THEN YOU KNOW WHO ANOT! MY BELOVED CUZZIE okay! HAHA. I think its daym funny. I mean i didn't expect him to say that so unlike him can. I think he's going through puberty now so ya.

I think he has got low self esteem. Cause he's extremely short for his age (going on sec one alr) and i have this other cuzzie who's three months older than him, Ken who's really HANSUM and as tall as me alr. And he got muscles somemore kay! So like i think he feels inferior and all. Plus he's wearing retainers now and he hates it totally because he feels very ugly. But i think he looks cuter like that, rly!

I STILL LOVE MY CUZZIE VERY MUCH despite him being like that. AND TO ME HE'S STILL VERY CUTE LEH HAHAHA.

Oh and i text my uncle about that. And my uncle called me immediately. He thought smth happened to his son hahahahaha. And my uncle was like '...he crazy ah so young nothing to worry why hate his life i buy him so many computer games. Maybe he's worried about tmrw's psle results'. Okay I cannot take it i find it so roflnrnlnrnl can.

I see past his flaws. I love him for who he is to me. He's so beautiful in my sight (HANSUM LA, Go, aww).

Then, i wonder what You ever saw in me. I never knew how You could see just me and filtrate all else; my character, looks, motives, wrongdoings & achievements.

I stand in wonder.

OBEDIENCE

2006-11-21T02:30:00.000+08:00

So much kept within me, i can't wait to say! :D
But maybe after this busy period. Hehehe.

Okay here to take a breather and do a little update. I'd just completed my part on Marketing segmentation, targeting and positioning. :)

Last week, i attended 1 family dinner, 1 wedding dinner, 1 birthday dinner and 1 sposed dinner with mom but turned out to be a shopping spree. It was rly nice but not when i'm flooded with project datelines and tests this week. Oh and thank you all for birthday wishes, presents and everything else. My 18th was very sweet, haha.

I've got smth to share. Today was raining kittens and pugs and after one 9-6 tiring day of school (project meetings inclusive), i decided to cab home to take some nap since i've got so much to do. To amend my report and study for my tmw's cma killer paper. But there were two groups waiting infront and behind my queue. As i was waiting, i was reminded of a few cab testimonies i've heard. Haha. And i thought maybe i should pray to witness a cab stopping right infront of me like nownownownow. But i've some reservations too because like what if my prayer's not answered. :(
K long story short. I prayed once and within ten secs, a green cab stopped at the group infront, then it came to me but it wasn't heading my area as well. I thought i didnt pray specifically. And so i did, and within half a min, a cab stopped like right infront of me!!!! but cause someone was dropping off. And like the board stated that it was heading to woodlands. Surprisingly the cab driver said okay to Lavender! I told this to mommy just and she's like super amazed. Hahaha.
Daym long. Oh and another one. I had like sorethroat just now and i didnt wanna wake up because i was feeling so unwell. But i'd to rush my project so i prayed for the discomfort to go away totally so i'd feel better doing my report. And like within five mins, i was alright. No sore throat! Like totally gone!?! OK sorry too amazed alrdy.
OH LAST ONE sorry. I'l make it very short. I thought FABM journal was to be submitted last wed (rly thought so) but the last submission's this wed! And i completed it today! And there's a few minor ones too!
SRRRY LAST ONE PROMISE, about me being very blessed to be given second chance.
So many prayers answered within a day! All i did was to ask boldly. As long as my motive's pure and it aligns with His plan. OMPPYRM! And Blessings just keep pouring down.
Never underestimate His desire to answer all our prayers. When we pray, God works.

I didn't expect this entry to be so long. Okay off to study my cma test. Thank you all for praying for me (albeit i forced yall to) :DDD

Caught by grace.
Random, I love my Family so much! <3

Happy Eighteenth Birthday me!

2006-11-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

YEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BITHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO XUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~(as long as mississippi)
(breathes in deep) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Smiley icon and go beaming &grinning away like an idiot.

Blessed 18th

Newspaper party hat & throw imaginary confettis!

Woman of God

xoxo,

You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me

2006-11-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

I am home before 12mn on a saturday.
Today's Chinatown Amazing Race for the sec sch students was interestingly fun. St Marg's won! My school pride still exists till now ay. Ate a chunk lot at Maxwell foodcourt (i must go again!) :/ fat face, go. fat face, gone. So i ate like the minced meat noodles, goreng pisang, sugarcane and youtiau. And chicken rice at s11. And eating noodles now too!

I think. It's quite sad to have many many friends (hi&byes, you're so funny, you're so nice, i like you, so sweet of you friends) but no one's seemingly available for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, ears to hear your rants &pour out your life to and just, being physically there.

So overwhelmed by today's service. Awestruck yo.

I was about to go home and Shu gave me a lovely, sweet early birthday surprise (i love surprises! :D and on top of that, a slice of strawberry cake! &a 6min22sec live affirmation, ahah) which's enough to melt me and make me smile like a peepor for the rest of the week i tell you. And i don know why i was so gullible to fall for her trick. Will not go into details because il most prob initiate to tell you everything when i see you! Shu's so so so daym sweet max. Hen ai ni worzzxx, my number one cheenapok.

Why! Whenever i reflect on my past through now, i really feel so very blessed like really really! I'm almost bursting cause i cant contain this. More more more! Favour me!

Tmrw shall be a productive day!

2006-11-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

What we've gone through, what we are going through and what we will go through- It was/is/will be new to us. But matter of factly, someone else had already been through all these right before us. Think deeper, how true.

My arms are aching (and i wonder why just) because i've been carrying laptop+file+books in my arms and sling bag across to&fro school. I do that everyday; walking up that dreaded slope (from kap to block72).

I've exceeded my paper print quota. Which means i can't print paper using my student domain because each student is entitled to 200 pieces per sem. And i printed more than a 100 in a day.

I don like school :/ My work attachment journal's due next wed and i havent found a job yet! Projects overload and i am lagging in cma and all the other modules. Speaking of which, i love qb the cutie because she loves cats, meowrahrr! No la, because she was really nice to lend me her cma notes. K. I srsly got a heap load to catch up.

Because of meetings and make up tutorial, i missed cg ytd. And so today i went outreaching, alone, haha. So coincidentally or i chose to think it was divine that i bumped into Zejun and Yiwei. It was very (:

I was reminded for the past week never to underestimate God's desire to answer our prayers and never to limit my own prayers. He surprises us all the time in the least expected ways. And because we are extremely forgetful, we need to be constantly reminded. Of His love, grace, faithfulness and His promises. I'l walk with you, Holy Spirit.

Witnessing those transformed lives. Being able to share lives tog with the same purpose. Ah, it is all worth it, really really. (:

Get definite with Him, and He will get definite with you.

2006-11-07T19:31:00.000+08:00

Since i've some spare time, shall do a quick update of ytd.

And party poppers people! I was a nerd today. 8) Yey and three cheers!

I like collaging photos but i don like collages.

Ytd went to meet Kar, along with Zhige, Deborah and Shine. Supposed to watch The Guardian but we were all late so we ended up eating Subway (yey double twist!) at Harbourfront. Shopped around Vivo city and it was so tempting i wanna splurge wagahaha.

Then Kar and i left for Esplanade library, we settled at the cafe to chill chill. I like there and also the dance corner which's so conducive to study. Oh and there was an ongoing social dance (Swing!) class and some guy commented that it's like speed dating! HAHAHA. There's like oldies (trying to act young and hip) and the young and innocent (the emo boys) .We were thrown into utmost disgust (Kar's reaction uber funny) to see flying skirt and undie. Eww.

Kbye. Posting again!

Strike 15!

2006-11-06T01:04:00.000+08:00

Collage 1: You should fix your eyes on Nemo (that fish in the middle) roflnrnlnrnl. nainai why like clownfish, funny right? ahahhahahah.
Collage 2: Jolene! & i spot her sexy green bra
Collage 3: Fat cheeks & Rahrrmeow.
Collage 4: I love All Nptrees (HAHA), Jean ong (the stalker!!!) and Felicia Ngiam (i love her henduowor and she loves me henduotoo)!

Supposed to go HV walawala but somehow we landed in clarkequay-boatquay-chinasquare-finally some ulu pub in chinatown, thanks to np ex ul. That kind of pub that only my mommy goes to. Bunch of old folks (hahah) and cheeeena songs omg i really would run home if not for jolene. And i'm really such a lousy drinker :/, i say no more.

NP grrrls so united ay. I LUBB EWWOR.
kbyela.

Reveal.

2006-11-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

Because you love cats too,

omg, so cute!

I found Him in worship.

2006-11-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

Took a satisfying nap and i'm gonna do my tutorials later!
I reached school punctually, yey, did the test, and survived the 4-hour marathon, unscathed yey.

If i like kids more, if i have a higher tolerance for kids and if i know how to handle them, i will i will join the hope kids ministry kkk.
Because i never forget what my sunday school teachers taught me. I love bible stories though I always thought it was fictional then. (Jonah in a fish was my favourite!)

---

Ok last night in that mere three hours of sleep, i dreamt. Don laugh at me but i act dreamed that the world's coming to an end. I will not describe the scenes and details cause its quite far fetched, hahaha. All i rem's that i was petrified (that i may die painfully, i'm scared of pain, ya) and super panicky. I ran home just to share christ with my grandpa hoping he would accept him & say the sinner’s prayer like now now now (no time alrdy! must share diedie must make him convert and go heaven with me, haha). But somehow in the dream, my extended family's all there and point is i shared quite shyly hoping the rest wont get to hear what i say and probe me further with their cynical comments I presumed they've had. Eh, Donk, Ereehurh.

I am Not Ashamed, of the gospel of Your name.

---

Why. So divine! :D

2006-11-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

Lord, please bless all those (esp Samantha, Raywne and Xueling) taking the horrid GEEPEE later, and also the subsequent papers ahead.

Die. I took too long a nap just now and i cant get to sleep now and i have to wake up at 600 because i was blacklisted last week for being late and i've got a test at 800 sharp and i am so not a morning person il prolly take the paper with an empty brain, stone slow stone and blank out and don know what to write and teacher will highly likely shoot me i can't afford to let my mind rest for 4 straight hours, horrible! jesus i need you and i feel like sleeping now but i'm afraid my body don wanna wake up 3 hours later which i know is not enough for me i need beauty sleep i hate eyebags i hate bad skin i hate morning classes and kbye i go sleep.

Habbakuk 2:3; Such promise (:

2006-11-01T17:08:00.000+08:00

I hate school and it hates me too. I hate waking up and going school. So today i thought i should love school more and so i cabbed down hoping to be early for class.
Then i was told tutorial's cancelled.

I've got a Marketing test tmrw. I see Datelines and macaroni! this month is sardine packed.
K nothing too daunting. NOVEMBER (Dddeee-month!!) under my feet. Fight ah!!!

..I will put You first in everything.

THE SUBWAY DREAM

2006-10-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

I played Meixuan's cheerleader for her upcoming A's today! Went dinner at westmall's pastamania tog with old friends, Samuel and Joshua. Then we spent more than half hour taking less than ten pictures because samuel was being/acting camera shy in public, and joshua was being a peepor taking unglam shots of us and we screamed like madwomen (to scare him off so we can get hold of the camera, haha).

Crucial and DDDDDD-part mann, read on.
This is so exciting. I am one step closer to earning my $$$. Real hard cash, chingching mooooolah. Franchising Subway in NP and all polytechnics. LikeomyelpsuperdupermightyXXXXXXXxciting?!?! I'l be co partnering with Qibing and i appear to be more excited than her, like why ah. Nvm i know she's pretending and suppressing all her excitement for later. I could hardly contain it!
Before i go on endlessly. Those who wanna stake in this project, yey you either have to be a beeeeeg subway fan or have the means &resources (brains, connections etc.) to help materialise this all tog.

Wait for my :D news.

Ayem, next entry!

Ni hao ma

2006-10-29T20:32:00.000+08:00

i went brasbasah's artfriend today and i fell in love with thick color marker pens all over again.
buy me those for my birthday thank you.

had lunch with family and thereby forgo zhige's/karryn's/xuanting's baptism day. i'm sorry i really wanted to witness it badly.

and i went to fix my camera only to realise that the warranty's expired. D': i invested 1000$ on cameras alrdy. and i guess i will get another one soon. pocket, burn, pocket.

my godma's insisting on me going smu but my grades cannot qualify la, srsly. so it's either overseas (NO!) or work (AHNO!) or sim (prays hard)

i need a job

i need money

i cant wait to get out sg. i love monuments and musuems and those artefacts and old buildings. awwwwahhh, teleport me.

And what halloween party.

if i have the capital or if im more desperate than now, i might just franchise subway or some f&b stall in polytechnics and earn my own money.

MAOMI ADORATION

2006-10-28T06:03:00.000+08:00

Kickstart,

A fire inside

2006-10-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

Today is gastric pain till i wanna faint day.

Ayewhyisthisnothappeningoverherecannotbecannotbewhyisithappening
everyelsewherebuthereyoustupidpeeporyouwaitiwillmakeithappen
itwillhappenokaygivemelikesaythreemonthsokayiseriouslydonknowhowla
iamgonnamakeithappenokshuddupallyoudampenersomyhallelujahjesushave
likefavouronmeandallofuspleasepleasepleasegivemeeverythingineedextradosage
oflovecouragefaithwisdomandeverythinglaaaaaacauseireallytrulyloveyoualotand
iwannaseethishappeningokitwillbedoneiknowbutdonwaitthatlongcanthreemonths
ahhhz preparemeahamen.

Ok. HAHA.

You gave me room to grow

2006-10-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

I don know why my entries are so long nowadays. I feel the need to recount, haha.

My IS elective's Marketing. French's next sem. Like omg please. Daym competitve to the inner core. I'm the odd trm student amongst the pool of lsct people. And i think i sat beside a top scholar?! The teacher kept aiming me, like for four hours non stop straight i have to be alert alert, mind must keep thinking cannot relax kind. But it really taught me alot on what i should know in the world today.

Aye anyhow, i see Proactiveness in a different light today. Long story short, a value taught by my IS teacher. The opposite of proactive is reactive. Am i being proactive, do i need to be told what to do? or, reactive; that is i react under the pressure of certain external circumstances.
I think i am very reactive.

I saw Charissa today she's so pretty and skinny i think she's anorexic alrdy why, she's still as bimbotic as ever.

Crashed ECH class today. Was boring. Haha. Spent like the whole time discussing Karryn's baptism name with Zhige and Kar herself. HAHAHA! I cannot help but to laugh.

Packed stuff for Chinatown Amazing Race. Seemingly quite exciting!

Went Cg, celebrated Ngiam's birthday!

Class at 8am and i took cab. Fourteen dollars people! Weeps. I got cheated again. And because i have no money=no food=gastric painwaydaympain! And i think it may be no big deal to all you. But i picked up 2$ ytd at atrium with fel, and 5$ just now on the way to cg?! Like rly never bluff. I never ever pick up dollar note on the street before & spot it so quickly! Ah so blessed you know anot!

And i think Ong jean secret like me or smth. I see her almost everyday!!? And ytd, she stalked me i think. Saw her thrice in two hours and today i saw her again. And she and her accomplice Cindy said i behaved and looked really gentle recently?! Eyodd?
Ong jean's super bthly bhb! I like. HAHA, stop admiring me la.

You'll never know how to lead until you learn how to follow.

PSALM 40.

2006-10-25T19:41:00.000+08:00

Highly overused punctuations. like, daym, seriously, okay. haha is overrated too.
I should type &speak good english, read some secular thought provoking good books &stop heading out so often!

K and so i came home early after meeting Felicia Ngiam ah hui. I was expecting some dramatic scenes where she'll cry when she sees me and we go hugging &screaming in high pitched voices, &just feel daym euphoric. But, none of such leh why. Hahah. The librarian was rly annoyingly disruptive. Cause we took turns being super agitated while sharing our story and she came like at least 5 times in half hour to shut us up. But her body lang so funny.

Updated each other but somehow those things i prepare to say days ago didn't rly mean anything anymore now. Haha, digress abit, totally unrelated to above. I'm appalled at how words lose its significance with time and what we felt were so impt in the past didn't mean much any longer. K refering to my past blog entries. And this's like prolly one reason why i have no archives. They don represent me now. Yet, they're still a part of me.

Mmhm, Super tight in cash $$$$$$ I realise one of my modules require me to work and clock in 40 hours. But it has to be f&b line. Meowyeohwhere.

Gotta heal my face. No make up ytd(YEY), today (YEY), tmw and for alap. Sleep early, drink water, eat my fruits &veggies (SUBWAY. And i think of what kar did to me on sat). Lipo fat fat fat cheeks! And do smth to my hair. Gasp, no idea what. I wanna pluck out my wisdom tooth too. Its hurting like anything.

Attempting a task so great for God that unless He be in it, we will surely fail.

Amen.

PICTORIAL

2006-10-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

PACKED WORDS. SIZED AYE.

2006-10-24T18:03:00.000+08:00

Spells exciting at about 0400 Monday morning.
My mom was trying hard to irritate me as usual. She said she'd heard some loud bangs &noises. But i chose to ignore her because i thought she was daym paranoid; She imagined that a body was thrown down and that we better do smth about it. And so, ignore ignore ignore. Till i relented to her persuasion and persistent bugs. I took a peep out of my kitchen window. Eh, nothing what.
But for some reason, we reckoned we better go downstairs to check. We ran out of the house immediately w/o bras on. Took a nearer peep. Okay we saw fire sparks and heard small explosions! But then we thought it was stupid to call the fire station for that. Hahahahhahha. So we approached one group of seemingly sober uncles at the other coffee shop to see if they could do smth. And ya, they too, lousy la. They were not really convinced by our story or maybe they're too lazy to care about that small fire spark. We thought its better to call 995 our own, and fire engine came much sooner...

I'd always believed curiosity killed the cat and that sgporeans should be less kpo and mind their own business. Hahahahaha. But the situation or rather my mom taught me never to overlook the slightest thing we can do and never underestimate the power of that small act of service.
Just a little bit more we can do.

-------

OK. Today is tuesday stay home do your stuff day. YEEEEEEEEYYY. I likee. No movies, no meet ups, no latenights, no spending excessively, and so, planning planning yo.

Brief note on what'd happened ytd. Had 2hours of sleep and off to school. Rushed my CEM, and beanbags in our lib's like so i cant describe! Had ctm in lib suntze (haha) And omg nov's gonna be very exciting, np3 yo. HANDS HIGH UP IN THE SKY. We will make it happen! Supper at bt hawker centre. Went fort canning, but not very eerie. It's either i'd grown to be daym brave or i was too dead to be scared. I just hoped i had a camera with me then. Then, went over Vincent's place, quite unreluctantly. (ONG JEAN i rly hope you read this) to play mj with BQ the mj king srsly and Deborah. But i was super stoned and tireddddddddddd by 230 after playing like 5 times (not rounds)!?! And i won the last time (Always this case). Watched abit of click and stay alive and i cabbed home. The stupid cab uncle drove me to Grange road i almost thought he wanted to abduct me until i realised i gave the wrong add.

Such long update.

I will do what i can do. I will give what i can give.

2006-10-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

I typed a whole essay like long journal entry on my notepad (saved) to update all you. Ay, backspaced it anyhow cause i revealed too much, too unnecessarily. And i think superxue.blogspot will soon become like my personal reflective journal viewed by anonymous, unknown people. HAHAHAHA. Odd. In case i bore you with my learning points or digress so much into my personal thoughts and life that i forgot superxue is a www, i've to re-check what i post right. That's D: because i like post everything i feel, think, do.
Ah hence this delayed entry.

This week
-Spent most of my time in school atrium, cafe and kapmac.
-WAM night &2failed attempts to stay over Kar's place.
-Subway &Island creamery with Jose.
-Sim lunch with Ong Jean.
-Bugis village, Parco, Seiyu shopped and Mos burger with Lings.
-Grocery shopped. Got myself minestrone soup finally!
-Unintentionally went rpcg.
-Caregroup at Vivocity. Pretty. Minus the haze and cigs smoke, ewww. Fancy changing to our school uniforms in the open space. And the nehnehgame got me into laughing fits.

I forgot to mention this. I almost pierced my nose last saturday?! Like really almost OHHHOKAY!
Ah, today is Saturday love! Hands in the sky!

Faith, Love & Hope -these we never quit

2006-10-20T20:51:00.000+08:00

To go fast, grow alone.
To go far, grow as a team. -Pastor PN.

This is far greater than sacrifice

2006-10-15T13:51:00.000+08:00

Just celebrated Grandmama's birthday at Holland V's Crystal Jade.

-----

I know i've been missing out on outings. I used to take it quite seriously. Like i have to go out with people, stick my nose in, so i can be involved in their lives and all. But i guess after 5 days being locked up, i've truly understood this saying. Quality beats Quantity. Spending quality time matters more. And quality doesn't have to go hand in hand with quantity.

Though many of you went Aww, xue youre daym poor thing; Lucky i am not like you, truth is i wasn't a slight bit upset over it, like surprisingly?! (I cannot tahan not going out and get myself busy with outings and all. And worst, freedom-deprived) My confinement, however, taught me a whole lot; caused me to realise things i never thought i could benefit from. It wasn't a wasted period potato-couching at my comfortable home. Instead, i actually had the time to settle personal stuff and, do more stuff for others too!

I obeyed my gramps (Out of my nature. I could have defied and sneaked out), missed cg (And i thought to myself, die, missed out so much, how to learn &grow la? How to take care of NP3 on behalf of Fel?) and even technology goes against my way- My phone died. (DIEDIE, detached from the world, how to contact them?!!??!?!)
BUTTTT, seriously,

God never shortchange us.

-----

And many times we're so sinful, we totally don deserve all these.
He gave, nevertheless.

Not my will but Yours be done.

Encourage

2006-10-14T12:16:00.000+08:00

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-Mark Twain

WWJD. Love God, Love people.

2006-10-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

RAHHHHHRARRRRRROAR -meowyeohh
Caged home for a week alr. Omahubbachickencurrypokheadnehnehhumchimbangzinczonkyey.

-Uploaded at least 40 songs to Xueling, and over 10 to Raywne. (I attached song files one by one kkk.)
-Typed and sent mails to dear friends (With love and rant)
-Re-read past daily bread(s)
-Had fun with thesaurus
-Friendster/blog-stalk people
-Visited LJ sprees
-Coaxed the gullibles into ordering mac delivery for me. HAHA. But failed only because they don have credit card.
-Sent mails & photos of Hope Singapore to people of Hope Lampang. Introduced blogs and great websites to them as well. :D
-Did blogthings to kill time
-Cleared mailbox

Just had a deep talk and msn discussion with Timothy (my ex classmate) on Christianity, church denominations and speaking in tongues. It was really good exchanging views with someone from another church.
I am truly really greatly so supremely thankful for Hope Church, for imparting &instilling The vision, values &principles in me, which help to mould me spiritually, grow deeper in my conviction and relationship with Him.

I finally grasp the importance of a church.

Go all out for God!

2006-10-11T21:42:00.000+08:00

There's always more we could give.
I wish i was more courageous.

Heaven and Earth will fade. But His word will still remain. And He will do something new today.

2006-10-10T02:57:00.000+08:00

Cutie Alert!

Eeyer, why you so cute?! (Ay sorry but this is the best shot of Meow alrdy)

Had webcam convo with Samantha the day before, and i showed her my mom in pjs. Because she imagines herself to be quite rar sexay.

Last night, Samantha showed us her mom in pjs. And mommy went

Wah! Her mom more sexy ah. Wear bra somemore!

HAHA HA!!! (Uh, it was act a sleeping gown. Think mommy crossed eye or smth, haha.) Urhm, i find it like really funny?! It's like the battle of mothers some sort!

Mommy should be (: because she has a sharp nose to carry off the nose stud i got for her k. Ay, whenever i see her, i think of getting my nose pierced as well. I want.

Proactive, Intentional, Deliberate.

2006-10-09T00:55:00.000+08:00

My mom was just too sweet (quote Zejun) to act let me sleep through since i didn't sleep ytd. And so i overslept and missed ctm. K, i go kill myself. D:
Aye, go bang wall! (quote Shu)

3D2N TR21 class chalet and i cant go! D: All because i stayed over too many times this week. Sam, i hope you read this and feel daym guilty now. Oh i declare i have no gift/spirit of serving. And ytd was my virgin experience washing the firestove. Act i was daym angry. SERIOUSLY SAM I HOPE YOU READ THIS. Made me mop your floor and squeeze the mop, with my hands?!?!
Ok, but i did this out of a supremely willing heart k.

I still choose to think i am good in Mahjong though i won like only once in i-don-know-how-many rounds. Played primary school's fav -Freeze &melt at the voiddeck as well. HAHA.

And to all: Please don let me see your camera. Because i'm having post-camera drop on the floor and no longer working anymore-syndrome. My birthday coming thank you. Please buy me camera (digi or polaroid!) please please please. Or alternatively an ipod nano. Or a dog/cat. Or throw me money also can. Oh! And i like surprises too! :D

I will touch You with my worship. And when i touch You, virtue flows.

2006-10-08T08:29:00.000+08:00

I will pray- Carry the call
Danny Chambers and Integrity Band

I answer the call, hearing Your voice
Down on my knees i make the choice
To humble myself and pray

No matter the cost, paying the price
Lord i will give the sacrifice
I humble myself and pray

Kop from Sam's mp3. Ha.
Just came back from Sam's place. And i shall take a power siesta before ctm.

Seriously. You sure miss out a great deal not attending service. I don know about you. But i always look forward to Saturdays.
Saturday=Church=Divine encounter/exchange= :DDD
No matter how despaired, tired, discouraged, horrible [:(] i felt earlier on, i always come out the auditorium refreshed, recharged and renewed. [:DDDDDDD]

I did the best i know how. :D So Yay double twist can.

Listening: HERE I AM

2006-10-07T02:30:00.000+08:00

Ah, all along i thought Jared is pronounced as Jare-d. SO now after a decade, with 3 Jareds i came across, i finally realise its pronounced as Ja-red.
And i shall name my dog that.

Im a Mel-Sang. Yo.

Whaw, Britney Spears f-hotmama.

IPOD NANO! I cant decide to get or not. The newer one's pretty (SEE!)

but i prefer the older version with the mirror attached at the back. But i can't find it in online store anymore?!
Major dilemna can. I can just pull my hair off my head kind.

My current lifestyle is getting into my mind. Like, i haven't been doing anything really constructive after the stm trip, uhm just plain resting and enjoying this slow paced life. I wonder if its the aftermath of Thai trip. And thing is, i so feel like carrying on this lifestyle. BUT HOW CANNOT EH! Brace, XUE, Brace yourself! And i feel as if i've got so much to worry. And like i've been missing out in everyone's lives. Ironically, i like it this way now.

My heart's way too heavy.
Why art thou feeling this way? A dog or cat now can prolly cheer me up.
PMS? OR ISIT FELICIA'S ABSENCE? OR MAYBE THE STUPID DRAMA I'M WATCHING NOW MAKES ME GO DIAOJIDIAODIAO. Go bang wall and die la!

It's so heavy and it's weighing me down, flat on the ground alrdy.
Blinded by circumstances.

How Sorry am i truly sorry?
Why? RAR. Sorry for having such unpleasing thoughts.

Seriously i'd been thinking of making my blog entries private. Because i hate how people may knowingly or not judge or stereotype me by my entries. Or maybe i'm just too afraid how people may view me. And i hate being misunderstood!?
Srsly, hack. No time for these.
Don be bounded by the past. Get out and move on alrdy xue.
Now i will consecrete myself. So prepare me for greater works please.

"IPOD NANO IPOD NANO!"

2006-10-04T14:55:00.000+08:00

Yay. I finally did the personality test in Thailand. But uhm, i think my personality is kinda rare & weeeeird?! Well, maybe? At least to me it is. Quite insecure to say here. HAHAHA.
Humans way daym complex.

Diao jidiao diao diao
HELLO SINGAPORE! OMG, I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. But seriously this trip is so memorable, i don know what exactly makes it so special. Just, YKNOW.
I miss the people, Tian, Pie......, the hotel room, the 7-11 there, the dogs &cats &horse &elephant.
HAHAH. K, i am not joking.

And anw i think i should consider staying in Thailand since the people there accepts &embraces my looks. (Kill me i know.) Day 1, i was told i looked like a Thai. By Day 6, Everyone looked like one alrdy. Oh and even the cab driver who drove me back thought so too. And he thinks i have Chiangmai accent. Wts. Our english were so * and we spoke like a retard (I mean slow kinda retard).

I learnt some Thai too (Yey, i suck in language). Spoke too much chinese, Became an ANIMAL LOVER, Rode motorbike (Kids age 13 own bikes alrdy. And hello, a breakthrough okay! All for evangelism's sake), Tried fishing, Wore Cheongsam for Lampang's church anni. (Total breakthrough thankyou), Planted a tree in Hope Lampang, Took superbly manual neoprint, Amazed at how cheap the cost of living in Lampang is, Laughing at Sam the Unglam. He with Nel tog so funny. And yadayada.

I tell you this entry never ending alrdy you can just stop reading. Because i don think i am giving full details here. Oh and anw i still wanna finish this. I was quite sad because i lost my voice, had sorethroat and for the entire 6 days, i couldn't sing. Like how can right?!?! I hope it isn't puberty; breaking of voice or smth. Because i don wanna sound like this forever.

Anw. The people there are so simple. I love the Thai youths there. So sincere, thoughtful and sweet. I came back and i've alrdy received e mails from Oil and Pang. Language, no barrier eh.

I'd realised, learnt and relearnt. I wonder how if i hadn't gone to this mission trip. The experiences, exposure beyond the fellowship. Just irreplaceable, and priceless.

Let Your face shine on us, And the world will know you live.
All the Heavens shout your praise
Beautiful is our God, the universe will sing
Hallelujah to You our King.

Circumstances affect the way you feel.
But Character determines the way you act.
Character lasts. So build yourself strong!

On top of my sweet list.

2006-09-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

-----

I will be daym strong.
All for Christ.

-----

HELLO HOPE LAMPUNG!

2006-09-24T01:48:00.000+08:00

Today was :DDDDDDDD Mouth gapes open. Shut me up thank you.
Walked from Little India all the way to Far East plaza with Raywne Tan Meixuan without feeling a tinge of tiredness. I hadn't seen her for so long and meeting up with her made me ecstatically happy. Beams! We updated each other and reminisced the good ol days we had together. Shopped, Drank bubble tea (Which Samantha Ting thought it was daym old school. Ya, ?!?!? right?), Enjoyed cheapthrills, and just Being Excited, like always. And she's such a darling seriously, As ever. Piece of Lovely news to share. She came my church and accepted Jesus in her life. Loud hurray man. My heart could hardly contain the joy okay. I'm sure she felt it too. (: Photos soon.

Okay laters for more. Because now i feel extremely unprepared for the camp tmrw! I seriously totally forgotten that camp's tmrw!? I thought it was on Mon until they flashed the MM clip just now. I need at least a day to prepare okay. Pack bag, prepare necessities and just be mentally prepared.

I wanna upload some IMF photos i received earlier. But i realise i have no time for all these blogging shyt. But if i don do it now, i have no time. And just in case, i don come back again because after camp, it's one day rest, and off to Thailand; Lumpang for mission trip!? DAYM FAST!!!! Adrenaline rush. Daym exciting can!
Kbye.

[EDITED] X2
Courtesy of Jasmine. Just these few's enough. And, please pretend you never see the uniform.
(Four pictures being removed :/)